Buggered Mind of Neale Sourna, The

Opines, comments, rants, concerns, imaginings from Neale Sourna, fiction author and more -- www.Neale-Sourna.com, www.PIE-Percept.com, www.ProjectKeanu.com, www.AuthorsDen.com/nealesourna, www.CafeShops.com/NealeSourna, www.Writing-Naked.com, & www.CuntSinger.com

Sunday, December 13, 2009

AVN Magazine, FOREPLAY, “Lord of The Guys” by Tony Lovett

http://business.avn.com/magazines/online/">AVN Magazine, FOREPLAY, “Lord of The Guys” by Tony Lovett

All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. ... If you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he's going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I'm pretty sure he'll lose interest. It's the last thing he wants.

—Michael Schwartz, chief of staff to U.S. senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma

Kids say the darnndest things.

—Art Linkletter

pearls of wisdom were abundant at September's Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C., but the above statement by Michael Schwartz—chief of staff to Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn, and a founding member of Operation Rescue—took top honors when it came to non sequitur entertainment value.

Mr. Schwartz was speaking at a breakout forum about something called "The New Masculinism" when he offered up his radical new theory on how to keep our kids away from porn and stop the spread of homosexuality. While he was quick to quote studies by the National Institutes of Health in order to back up his hare-brained hypotheses, he appeared to be getting most of his source material straight from the horses' mouths, i.e., 10- to 12-year-old boys.

Rekindling memories of Liberace, Mr. Schwartz uttered a statement that would have surely been cause for concern in almost any other venue. "It's been a few years, but not that many, since I was closely associated with pre-adolescent boys, boys who are like 10 to 12 years of age," said Mr. Schwartz with nary a hint of irony in his voice. Though he was unclear as to exactly how he was closely associated with these young boys, Schwartz had no doubt that they "have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that's because they don't want to be that way. They don't want to fall into it." What Mr. Schwartz forgot to say, of course, was "except for the homosexual ones."

Maybe it's just me, but I have problem with adopting the intolerance of heterosexual pre-pubescent boys as the blueprint for a utopian society. As anyone who has ever spent time on a playground will attest, boys—especially in this age group—can be astonishingly vicious.

What is it with conservatives and cruelty? If it's not the Old Testament they're thumping, it's Lord of the Flies.

Could it be that these boys "speak badly about homosexuality" because they learned it at home? Kids tend to "speak badly" about all kinds of things they don't understand, because they hear it from mom and dad. The notion that 10- to 12-year-old boys have some innate grasp on The Truth is preposterous. Having been a 10- to 12-year old boy at one time in my life, I speak from experience when I say that homosexuals were just one group in a long list of "enemies" for which neither my peers nor their parents had any tolerance. The only difference was, as adults, their parents were supposed to know better. At least in theory,

The fact of the matter is that nothing—and I do mean nothing—could have stopped us from looking at Playboy. If the possibility of blindness, baldness, impotence, infertility, hairy palms, and eternal fiery damnation didn't frighten us, then the prospect of enjoying show tunes wasn't going to do it either.

"All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards." This is pure drivel with a tinge of new age sex appeal, but it certainly sounds ominous, doesn't it? Sure, pornography will cause some degree of introspection no matter what your orienta­tion. It's called "getting turned on." If you find yourself digging straight porn, the odds are you're straight. If you prefer gay porn, then you're probably gay or Kathy Griffin. If you eschew both for glory holes in airport restrooms, you're most likely a Republican legislator.

And wasn't it this same group who once claimed that porn turned men's sexual drives outwards until we became uncontrollable rape machines? Now they're saying it turns our sex drives inwards until we morph into Rip Taylor? Well, which is it, gentlemen? In or out?

Obviously, the answer is neither. What this does prove, however, is that these conservative killjoys continue to live in a kind of Leave It to Beaver alternate universe, totally divorced from what most of us refer to as "reality," where a budding lad's fear of turning into a limp-wristed caricature trumps his innate desire to ogle tits. "Gee Wally, Eddie Haskell told me if I looked at that issue of Juggs one more time, I'd end up blowing guys for a nickel out behind Metzger's Field."

Poor Beaver. If there was ever a television persona who embodied the kind of conservative claptrap that Mr. Schwartz is peddling here, it would be Eddie Haskell, Lord of the Guys.

Tony Lovett, Publisher and Editor-in-chief

October 2009, Volume 25 Number 10, Issue 323

www.AVN.com 10.09 I The Big Picture

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